Life goes on

This post is not one of light heartedness. Two weeks ago my Grandma Passed away rather suddenly and for reasons not connected with what she went to hospital for. Her funeral was Wednesday. It was very strange to see the rest of the family again, some of us don't get along very well. RIP grandma Eileen, at least you can see grandad Pasqualino (Pasquale), uncle Ben and uncle Martin again. 

Thankfully she got to see our baby girl before you passed away. This is the only time I will post a photo of her on this blog but I think she would appreciate the photo of herself and baby Ophelia. (At about 10 weeks old) 

On top of this we had another miscarriage (wasn't aware we were expecting in fairness) - second since Ophelia was born :( 

Can't be helped so no point dwelling on it. 

Let's hope the rest of the month is better as Phee is a year old in April. That time went fast. 

Anyway shows to do, things to make. No time to dwell on misfortunes for the future never waits. Keep safe all

Growing bump

I realise that this post may be a bit late... Considering Ophelia is now 9 months old (almost) but a few of my burlesque friends are expecting so I thought it would be nice to do a little write up. So here goes.

I have some tips that helped me when I was expecting. They may not work for everyone though. 

First things first, when you find out you are expecting a little miracle, please go to your doctors to sort out your care/antenatal/pre-natal appointments.

Morning sickness

Most women experience this in varying levels, usually in early pregnancy and I'm not going to lie. It's ghastly. Thankfully most of the time it vanishes around 12-27weeks depending. 

I had it pretty bad, I had to travel to the horses a lot on buses and trains (I also commuted to london) which was a trigger. I found sucking crystallised ginger really helped to prevent any vomitting when I was bad. 

If you find you are really ill then head to the doctors as they may be able to help.

Another trigger for me was strong smells. I found that the only way to help this was to try and ignore the offending scent and carry something strong and pleasant smelling with me.

Nutrients

As soon as you find out that you are pregnant then it is advised to take folic acid supplements, specialised for pregnancy is best fortified with omega, calcium and iron, avoid vitamin A as this is harmful to your little one. If you look online there is a list of things to avoid eating, please pay attention to it as they are listed to prevent harm to the growing fetus. Also avoid alcohol especially. Do not eat loads more than you usually do, you don't need to eat more until your last trimester unless your midwife/doctors says otherwise.

Tired?

Take a rest when you need, especially during the first and third trimester. Due to university and my horses I couldn't get the rest I needed and with a 36 hour labour I was shattered. 

Bleeding

Red bleeding, particularly heavy or more than spotting is not usually normal. Please go to the doctors as soon as possible, A&E if you have to. Sadly miscarriages are common in the first trimester. (We sadly lost two babies this way - miscarriage I mean) 

Perineal massage 

This may seam very strange but I will swear by this. I had a natural birth and no tears what so ever so I guess it helped me. Best to get your partner to do it but it can be done alone. Look it up. 

Pain

Back, muscle, hip, leg and ligament pain is very common during pregnancy. Back supports can help and the doctor might have some suggestions. If you get severe unrelenting pain in your shoulder blade (particularly in only one) then it might be worth a trip to A&E/doctors to check its okay. I had this and thankfully it was all okay. However this resulted in physiotherapy once a week to try and relieve it.

Relaxation

Very very important; stress is your enemy.  It's harmful for you and your baby. When you hit the third trimester back your baby and labour bags ready, one less stress. I was travelling round and performing all the way up till Ophelia was born so it was important to have this organised. 

Gentle massage thoughout the pregnancy and labour helped so much. 

Also take a nice soak in the bath, not hot! You will hurt your baby, but warm is fine.

I will post a list of the pampering items I used during my pregancy.

Appointments 

Attend all your appointments and if you can attend any birthing courses offered to you. They give important information at the birthing classes, such as labour choices and others, including Caring for your newborn and reducing SIDS risk (sudden infant death syndrome). The antenatal appointments check your health and that of the baby. If you think there is a problem (we were told there was a fetual arrhythmia so I went to the women's hospital to check and it was completely fine - false alarm).

Personally I hate hospitals so I chose to have my baby in the birthing suite not the obstetric unit. My next will be a home birth. Choose what is best for you and your risk assessment. (I was very low risk)

 

Going out

We still went clubbing and indeed I was performing. Of course I was very careful yet I actually enjoyed it. Not everyone feels up for this though which is fair enough. The getting dressed up made me feel quite good in honesty. This leads to another point. You don't have to pay loads of money on clothes for going out. I actually found some lovely normal clothes that were my normal size but stretchy... And quite flattering for bumps. Look around not just at maternity clothes. In fact I only owned a few maternity things,which I made. I would love to make some more quirky and comfortable maternity clothes. Message me if interested. 

Intercourse 

Some women and men really go off sex during pregnancy, which is reasonable. Some however (myself and my partner included) found that they aren't phased at all and don't mind having intimate moments whilst expecting. This actually can be relaxing for you and some ladies find that they can reach orgasm easier due to the increased blood flow to the vagina and not having to worry/stress about getting pregnant. It does not harm your baby in any way. 

Helping hands

Remember, your doctor is there to help you, if you are ever worried then call them or your midwife. It's better to be safe than sorry. Also support from your partner (if you have one), friends and family can be invaluable. If you happen to have any who are also pregnant or have young babies/children then even better. Don't be afraid to talk about things to those close to you. I'm always happy to chat for example if any of my friends so wish.

Knowing it's time

This is a bit of a vague. I am writing this because for first time mums it's confusing to know what's a real contraction and what's a Braxton hicks. Trust me you will know! Sadly I was unfortunate enough to have random occurances of false starts for a month. This is basically where started having really strong contractions (not Braxton hicks) but nothing actually moved along such as cervix dilation. It's stressful to say the least. My best advice if this happens to you is wait and relax. Don't stress. If in doubt contact your midwife.

I hope some of this helps. I may of forgotten something. If I think of something I will add another post for it.

Take care now.

 

A moment to breathe

I really don't post on here as often or as fully as I should. It all boils down to being so busy with the little madam (who is bopping around her bouncer to Christian Death at the moment). 

Rest assured I have a lot of posts coming up, I just spend so much time doing other things. Between looking after Ophelia, the horses, work (burlesque and sewing... I am making a study of maternity corsets/post partum corsets at the moment. It helped me so much during my pregnancy), university, visiting my mum a lot (which in fairness clashes with seeing my horses in Coventry as that's where she lives). Really I don't have time for much else. I wouldn't have it any other way. Hopefully I will have time to catch up with friends but it's not likely.

I will catch up with posts! Please bare with me.

A moment in time

Ever had one of those moments when you see someone you used to be good friends with and you can't remember why you don't talk anymore? Or indeed you don't really know the reason why you fell out in the first place? Yea, one of them. 

It was strange. I guess it doesn't really matter but it made me realise I can't be bothered with petty attitudes and grudges. If people want to be that way inclined then so be it. I have more important things in my life than to harbour such negativity. 

If and when they want to talk again I will be willing but until then so be it.

Happiness

It is a fact that happiness can be found in many forms and it varies from person to person. 

The last two years have been truly happy for me (except for the loss of one of my horses... That was obviously not happy)

I am sailing through my education (medicine is a loooong course) and have the most amazing partner I could ever hope for. It may seem really cliché but there you go.

This year has seen many ups and downs. With death and illness of family members and loved ones on both mine and my fiancé's side. Yes fiancé ^*^ he proposed later this year at a family gathering. 

It's been almost a year since the death of my Appaloosa, wow time flies and I still miss her. Poppy is still going strong and recovered from a mild bout of Laminitus so she is sound again.

I'm loving my work more and more, plus meeting new people. The recent show I ran was a great success. I look forward to putting on the next one.

What else can I say... I've had to take a small hiatus from tightlacing and wearing corsets. This is due to the fact that we are expected a baby, it was planned before anyone asks. However after the birth I will be wearing them again so yay. (As I'm writing this I'm being kicked like mad haha.) Also electric Mausoleum has moved to the first Friday of the month and our Yuletide vampire ball has a good turn out.

I hope everyone else had a good year and will have another great one next year.

Joy

Having had a great few weeks. Firstly Resistanz was awesome. Noisuf-x played an amazing set as did several other bands. Neuroticfish, Alter De Ruine, C-Lekktor, Phosgore and Ivardensphere were all great to, sad to see that Seabound couldn't make it that would of topped the weekend really.

Flux Vortex Last night was fun also, the night is really taking off and our set went down... Rather well actually.

Also I may be running another regular night at Eddies... More to come on that soon.

In other news, rather big news. The last couple of weeks I have been very unwell. We are pleased to say that this is good. Odd as it might sound - Cai and I are expecting our first baby :)
I think he is more excited about it than me. We took a fair time discussing options etc and we decided we are in a perfect position to keep it. Money certainly is no issue whatsoever, we are emotionally, physically and mentally ready. Also we are getting hand fasted for the traditional year and a day on Litha this year. <3 Happy times.

I'm still performing burlesque at the moment and will continue to do so after the birth. I love it too much to give up.

I suppose more news to come Soon ^^

Tidings new and old

Not much going on here, Uni is dull at the moment but one just carries on.
It's like a hazy sleep has taken hold of the world and everything is dumbed and veiled. Anyway... I'm not sure why I am writing this, I guess its to vent and for something to do.

Loads of things has happened on the sewing and creative front, new clothing, corsets, hair and other little bits and pieces. the house still isn't fully decorated but we are waiting for unavoidable things to happen before we continue that.

Burlesque has been going well, I am now running another night which hopefully will become a regular occurrence. things are good. And I got told off by a photographer for considering giving up modelling... something which I have been doing for 7 years now (Blimey that's a long time) so I guess I will be getting back into that to now.

On a completely different note, my little sister is engaged, I find this rather odd and disturbing. Here is why;

She broke up with her boyfriend of 7 months Saturday just gone - the reasons were many. Then, refusing to speak to him began ignoring his calls. We find out a few days ago that he had phoned her up early in the morning and proposed... oh how romantic :/ .... *insert sarcasm here*.

Don't get me wrong, as long as she's happy. What I do find odd is that they had broken up and then she said yes to his proposal, also he could of waited until he next saw her rather than over the phone. Anyway it's done now... maybe I'm just too much of a romantic at heart. .... At least she doesn't want me to make her wedding dress.

Back to the brighter side of things, my partner and I celebrated our anniversary at WGW (he had never been before) The bands were amazing as always and I got to see one of the bands I had listened to from a very early age. So chuffed with that. It was good to be back at WGW again. Looking forward...

 and above is a photo from WGW

Hitting a down-slope

Those times you just want to scream and cry... but I can't cry.
Everything has hit me at once and I'm just feeling more and more low. I've been so very stressed recently, with University screwing timetables and re-enrolment around. Moving house, ill horses. It's all building up on me and its really starting to show.

I am not and have never been a pretty girl, but I wasn't the worse thing out there and I was happy enough in my skin. Recently I took on some work which I really regret doing, it only served to stress me out more and more... and it made me realise that I look awful right now. My skin is worse than it has been for a very long time, my hair is dull. I take care of myself, I have a strict cleansing/care routine but its no longer having the effect it used to.

I look old, its really upsetting me.

Stress-rashes keep breaking out, ultimately I feel very very low. Even my burlesque work isn't picking me up and I'm worried it will start to effect that to. Depression is a horrible thing and generally I do not get depressed easily.

I'm sick of it, no longer feeling like myself is horrible and I want to pick myself up. To top it all off Student Finance hasn't paid into my bank yet. Just more stress to add to the pile.

I know Cai is being very supportive, I love him to pieces but I can't help but worry that he will run off with a better looking bint... everyone else did.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what will help. Suggestions anyone?

New house!

Excited, bewildered.... I can't really think of any other words to describe how I fell right now and that's putting it lightly. I don't think those words quite catch the emotion correctly but words are escaping me right now.

This year has been the best year of my life so far, both physically and emotionally. I am genuinely happy. Hopefully I have many good years ahead of us.

Cai recently brought a house and asked me to move in with him, lucky me  ^0^

As I write we are in the middle of decorating and it looks lovely so far, can't wait until everything is sorted. There is a massive workshop at the back of the house which will get a lot of use. Both myself and the better half are rather crafty people. Lots of pretties on the way.

On that note The better half is actually going to join me in a bit of corsetry and make me a special corset ^^ can't wait to see how it comes out.

Let the crafting commence!!!

Certain substances

A few things have happened recently, mostly in regards to friends but I thought I would share my own thoughts on various rather sore subjects.

First off... alcohol. I very rarely drink anymore. I am a bit of a fitness nut and alcohol has a negative effect on the body and brain. But you already knew that. My little nephew has just turned 18 and is constantly getting wrecked. He has a good time, its his choice. yet he moans when it makes him ill or he has a bad hangover... don't drink then problem solved. I used to drink a copious amount of alcohol, and mixing etc. Pretty much every day when I was younger. My first partner was older than me and used to take me to pubs underage. Yet I never got drunk and trust me we drank a lot.

my Father has a history of being a violent drunk so I'm not fond of being around drunk people anyway. It wasn't worth risking my health anymore so I stopped drinking so much, I keep it to occasions now. I just don't see the point in it anymore.

Next on my list is drugs. I despise them. Have never ever touched any (nope not even weed) and I never will. They are dangerous and useless. Failing to make you cool and more like an obsessive lunatic or complete twat half of the time. I will bear no company with anyone who partakes in any drug whatsoever. Before some smart arse says that medicines are drugs and so is caffeine... yep I know that, I am studying medicine. I am talking about illegal substances, hallucinogens.. ie LCD, ketamine, amphetamines, coke etc. Sadly they have been strongly connected with the goth and cybergoth scene which I do not agree with at all. There is just no need for it.

In the past I have left three partners for taking these substances, just can't stand them. But once again it's their choice I am merely expressing my distaste for such.

If you have to take drugs or drink a copious amount of alcohol to have a good time then clearly there is something laking in your life (in my opinion). I can't see the need or reason to take them (save for medicinal reasons). Its not 'big' or clever.

I am happy to hear other people's thoughts on this matter, as a medical student it is something that could be worth hearing.

Over to you!