Holiday Hold-up

There isn't really much I can say about this, I is all a bit tragic. Christmas day (I don't celebrate it but my family does) turned into a bit of a disaster zone really.

After picking up my mother and sister from Coventry for Christmas dinner which myself and Cai were cooking, We decided to do the courteous thing and drop them home afterwards. In all that was a fair gesture, having almost arrived in Coventry at about 7:15, good timing until everyone came to a standstill. Sadly we were seven cars down from a serious accident. Waiting patiently we witnessed two fire engines, four police cars, three large emergency ambulances, two smaller paramedic ambulances and two highway maintenance vehicles speed past on the hard shoulder. this scene wasn't cleared away until 9:20.

however apparently it was not a lucky day for us. As we drove past the scene of the crash a bit of debris chipped up and clipped the rear window. Upon arriving at the nearby services to fill up on fuel the window sadly smashed. This meant another long wait. My mother and sister went home via my sibling's boyfriend who picked them up, leaving myself and my partner waiting for the AA. They did not arrive until 12am due to another accident.  At long last we got home safe and sound.

Save for that we had a good Christmas actually. I am finally recovering from illness and looking a lot better.

Thankfully there were apparently no fatalities in that crash though there were others earlier that day and Christmas-eve with more morose endings, one involving horses as I found out :( . Tragic really. I really hope everyone drives safely for the rest of the holiday period.

Hitting a down-slope

Those times you just want to scream and cry... but I can't cry.
Everything has hit me at once and I'm just feeling more and more low. I've been so very stressed recently, with University screwing timetables and re-enrolment around. Moving house, ill horses. It's all building up on me and its really starting to show.

I am not and have never been a pretty girl, but I wasn't the worse thing out there and I was happy enough in my skin. Recently I took on some work which I really regret doing, it only served to stress me out more and more... and it made me realise that I look awful right now. My skin is worse than it has been for a very long time, my hair is dull. I take care of myself, I have a strict cleansing/care routine but its no longer having the effect it used to.

I look old, its really upsetting me.

Stress-rashes keep breaking out, ultimately I feel very very low. Even my burlesque work isn't picking me up and I'm worried it will start to effect that to. Depression is a horrible thing and generally I do not get depressed easily.

I'm sick of it, no longer feeling like myself is horrible and I want to pick myself up. To top it all off Student Finance hasn't paid into my bank yet. Just more stress to add to the pile.

I know Cai is being very supportive, I love him to pieces but I can't help but worry that he will run off with a better looking bint... everyone else did.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what will help. Suggestions anyone?