Certain substances

A few things have happened recently, mostly in regards to friends but I thought I would share my own thoughts on various rather sore subjects.

First off... alcohol. I very rarely drink anymore. I am a bit of a fitness nut and alcohol has a negative effect on the body and brain. But you already knew that. My little nephew has just turned 18 and is constantly getting wrecked. He has a good time, its his choice. yet he moans when it makes him ill or he has a bad hangover... don't drink then problem solved. I used to drink a copious amount of alcohol, and mixing etc. Pretty much every day when I was younger. My first partner was older than me and used to take me to pubs underage. Yet I never got drunk and trust me we drank a lot.

my Father has a history of being a violent drunk so I'm not fond of being around drunk people anyway. It wasn't worth risking my health anymore so I stopped drinking so much, I keep it to occasions now. I just don't see the point in it anymore.

Next on my list is drugs. I despise them. Have never ever touched any (nope not even weed) and I never will. They are dangerous and useless. Failing to make you cool and more like an obsessive lunatic or complete twat half of the time. I will bear no company with anyone who partakes in any drug whatsoever. Before some smart arse says that medicines are drugs and so is caffeine... yep I know that, I am studying medicine. I am talking about illegal substances, hallucinogens.. ie LCD, ketamine, amphetamines, coke etc. Sadly they have been strongly connected with the goth and cybergoth scene which I do not agree with at all. There is just no need for it.

In the past I have left three partners for taking these substances, just can't stand them. But once again it's their choice I am merely expressing my distaste for such.

If you have to take drugs or drink a copious amount of alcohol to have a good time then clearly there is something laking in your life (in my opinion). I can't see the need or reason to take them (save for medicinal reasons). Its not 'big' or clever.

I am happy to hear other people's thoughts on this matter, as a medical student it is something that could be worth hearing.

Over to you!

A word on fitness

With the end of the Olympics and the start of the paralympics dawning I believe this is an appropriate time to talk about fitness.
I always have been rather sporty and I'm a bit of a fitness nut. At school I used to do PE three times a week out of choice, I got an a* at GCSE, on top of this I used to play for the school hockey team twice a week, then I used to go athletics training three times a week, not including competition days. I then used to go Badminton on a Friday morning and Use the Gym on a Thursday and Friday lunch time followed by cross country training. I have a lot of certificates and medals for various sports. Then after school I used to go and look after the horses which meant another 4/5 hours riding depending on how many of the 5 horses I owned at the time I would ride this would be everyday without fail including shows and competitions on Sundays. This was followed on a Tuesday evening and Saturday morning by Aikido and Archery training.

So Yea I was a bit of a sport nut, still am though it is mostly jogging, horse-riding and various forms of dance. I am a bit obsessed with keeping healthy and fit. I naturally have a washboard flat stomach yet a curvy hourglass shape so I try to keep this. Burlesque keeps me fit as I'm practising most days. On top of this the dance I do is Bellydance, salsa and ballroom. This isn't all, I am also a Zumba fanatic. Its so much fun and my instructor is really good.

Too many people I know say they want to lose weight and yet all they do is diet, you need to exercise if you want to lose weight as well as maintain a balanced, nutritional diet.

Actually I struggle half the time because my metabolism is very quick and I can accidentally lose weight if I'm not careful which is not what I want to do. Therefore I eat a lot to make up for it.

Balance is the key.

General geekery... Games and other hobbies

Right now I have some time to relax before the hectic moving and reflect on some of my other hobbies. Things have died down on the dread making front, I have another stall in September but for the moment I'm concentrating on my burlesque and modelling work. Anyway enough with prefaces and the like, I have a fair few hobbies that I don't really talk about much save to those who know me. In other words my partner, family and close friends. Having a love for fantasy, both light and especially dark - including mythology of course - means that I will naturally have a love for things surrounding these genres. My religion I'm neo-pagan which is obvious and I have been for many many years, pretty much was raised it. Anyway back on track... I used to be and still am an avid gamer, I adore fantasy based RPGs, platform, retro, sci-fi, action and horror games. Though this said I can often be found playing with my little sister on the wii... It's fun I will admit. Though my favourite games of all reflect my favourite series of books (aside from the works of JRR Tolkien yep that's right, I adore LOTR grew up on it so sue me) which is Neverwinter nights, ice wind dale trilogy, baulder's gate and the like. I love them so much fun to play though they are old now. Looking forward to the new RA Salvatore collaboration. My older brother used to love D&D as well as tabletop war games as he is 14 years older than me this meant that I used to watch him play and join in as best I could from a young age. These are two things that I still do today. Being an avid games workshop fanatic as well as D&D gamer. It says something when my mum noted and complained that whilst I was with my ex I didn't game anymore. That was one huge mistake I won't make again. He wasn't worth it. I have several armies, ranging from vampire counts, Lotr, wood elves, dark elves, chaos, tomb kings etc. wood elves are my favourite, I have a very strong affinity to elven lore. I was actually called an elf by friends when I was younger for many many years. I'm not complaining.

As to other games in particular I'm a sucker for card games, magic the gathering being an old favourite. Cai and I went to the latest prelaunch and had a great time as most of the hobbies i have so to does he. Win on this front. I used to also Larp which is something I don't do anymore but I do still build and craft costumes for, especially my friends and other people. These are just the gaming style hobbies, I do have loads more an relative posts will be put up in due course.

Nihon!

Busy looking  through old photos and boxes when I found some lovely memorabilia from my trip to japan in 2005 .... it seams like such a long time ago now.

I adored it, I am lucky enough to of been able to study Japanese at GCSE and so know a lot about the culture and language and its just amazing. I really do think highly of the japanese, in particular the scientists in nanotechnology and other areas.

The culture is very different from here and one must say that I do prefer it there. Whilst there I got to see some amazing things, both new and old, traditional parts of Japan including an Okiya where we saw traditional and very real Geisha's performing... they are so beautiful.

I do so miss all my friends over there, And thankfully I can say that I will be returning there very very soon ^^

Nihon ni ikimashou!

Here are some photos from when we were there... sadly I have lost weight since then (illness and stress mostly but I am putting weight back on, also I was 16 haha)

me in the nightmare t-shirt with my best friend at the time Chris

This is Minami and Yuko ^^

This is the Back of my Kimono, Yep I brought myself a real Traditional Japanese Kimono from a geisha market, with the obi of course. I also brought geta, a parasol and dancing fans

We went to bepu bay, and thus the hot springs named 'Bloody hell'

They have black swans ^^ taihen Kirei desu ne!

We saw so much more than I have named and met loads of people. I miss my EGL friends the most :( see you very soon lovelies!

Busy time

There is a lot going on at the moment and not much in the way of posts, for this I apologise. Allow me to remedy some of the inquisitiveness.

I am making products for my upcoming stall, this takes a lot of my time and effort couple that we my pets and well there you go really.... leaves very little room for much else. This is the price you pay for owning horses.

However on top of these things I also have my Burlesque, I'm performing regularly and creating new acts at the moment which - albeit very exciting - takes a lot of energy and thought. Furthermore my better half has just brought a house so I'm helping where I can to get things ready and stop him stressing so much. Quite a feat to be honest.

Congratulations to him for passing his driving test though... now we just have to get his mini roadworthy.

Much rushing around as you can see so please excuse the lack of posts it will be remedied as soon as everything reaches a proficient calm again.

Beginnings anew

Several things over the last few years have made me take time to sit and reflect on things. What can I say? I had a bad year or so a couple of years back and It really made me think of people or humanity in a very different and negative light. Pretty much all of my past relationships have been Ill-fated sadly usually involving them cheating on me. As I person I'm very much a romantic, usually preferring a darker feel or ambience... Thus it isn't surprising that each time this has happened my self esteem -which isn't particularly high to begin with - plummets. This happened a lot with one of my longer relationships and in honesty it left me feelin very morose and in a sense worthless as I always blame myself for those kind of actions. This relationship in question is long over, yet still I find people telling me stories of other untoward ad sorded actions he performed whilst we were together. In a word.. "ouch" it still stings. The reason for writing this blog is not to slander but rather to vent and perhaps provide light at the end of the tunnel for those who are unfortunate enough to have experienced similar. I'm a bit of a fighter, I try not to let my emotions show... I can't even physically cry. However the whole experience has left me as a real misanthropist. This I have always been in a sense and in any case I do not agree with and thoroughly dislike 'one night stands', 'fuck buddies' and the like. I tend to avoid people who do such as I see intercourse as something that should only be done in a relationship (a loving one at that) but that's my opinion and everyone is entitled to their own. Now Then, my tale gets a bit lighter and hopefully it will not end in such a forlorn was as the others have. My current partner is not like the others. I'm genuinely happy, more so than I have been for a long time. For once I can be loving and romantic without it being shunned. I wrote this post because I found a elated ending at the end of a dark time, a lot of my friends have had harsh tidings recently and hopefully this will pick them up because if I can be happy so can you! Keep your chin up, stay strong and everything will get better.

Boring

I did a great FB cull today and decided to block everyone who is sad enough to try and cause problems in my life. To be frank, I didn't give a toss about some of them anyway and I'm sick of this broken record now. I don't care who is doing what in their life... Leave them the hell alone to live it. So you know what? I have got rid of those who have tried to butt into other peoples business. If I blocked you and on the unlikely event that you think it was unjust, an accident or you want to make amends then email me but I will not tolerate this amount of slander toward other people all over my news feeds. Personally I don't agree with it, I simply don't care, I never have.

If you have a problem with someone then for god sake sort it out to their face and not slag them off behind their back or over the Internet because that way it will never be resolved and it's really somewhat pathetic. So yep now some of you are blocked and it's better this way. Stop arguing with each other you're supposed to be friends!

In doing this cull I also discovered that iPhones can be a royal pain in the ass, when one is trying to scroll down a page to click block on occasion you tend to accidentally hit the wrong part of a page such as a link or otherwise. Gah frustration lol. So if anyone gets random notifications from my account ignore them as it was an accidental click whilst trying to scroll down and block people. Fail on my behalf

On another lighter note... Three of my close friends are getting married soon ^o^ congratulations to them. They will all have an amazing day and look stunning.