Loss

It has taken me a while to get to a point where I can actually write about this subject. What started off as a good year has already turned sour. In short I am feeling somewhat morose.

Anyone who knows me will also know that I have grown up around horses, actually owning some for a good part of my life. The most we had at one point was five, in recent years this was taken down to two (this was mentioned in a previous post).
Poppy, my welsh cob whom I have owned for almost 11 years now and Thyme my white-born appaloosa whom as of this march I will of owned for 10 years.

Saturday 26th January, we had to get the vet out to Thyme as she has somehow received a nasty injury. Turns out it was only an infected blood blister and it was easily cured. Antibiotics and Bute. Thyme has a history of strange antics, she has a rather expensive hock injury from fighting with Poppy not long after we brought her. Went for X-rays and everything, thankfully nothing was wrong.
Then she foot her foot stuck in her haynet one night and somehow, to this day I have no idea how, kicked out the window and then went over the stable door. We thankfully got there in time to cut her lose. She was hanging upside down, hoof in haynet outside the stable door. Once again, got the vet down and no injuries what so ever.

For those that don't know a whiteborn horse is, its a horse that has a genetic mutation, which produces a pure white coat and unpigmented (pink skin) so the horse is not grey. Leopard spotted appaloosa like thyme are supposed to have leopard like spots all over the skin, however she did not.
so she should of been like this

but actually she was like this -


I don't think she had the lethal white foal gene.... but she may of had it. They usually die at an early age so it isn't likely.

Anyway... enough idol chatter I shall continue with the story.
Thyme's injury healed up nicely, Cai was even up helping me with her on Tuesday night. when we let her out she was running around the fields with Poppy happily.

Wednesday morning I received a phonecall... My little appaloosa has developed colic over night. Now, there had been no change in her diet or anything like that so it really was very unexpected an random. The vet gave me three options, Surgery (which would cost between £4000 and £10000 which we just didn't have), check on her and keep her health monitored or euthanasia. She had improved very quickly so we all agreed that to keep an eye on her was the best option.

I stayed with her until super late at night, she was perfectly fine by this point, happy, bright, alert and whinnying like normal. It really looked like she was better. Yet we kept her in the stable with some water and no food just to be safe.
On Wednesday morning, I got another phone call (I was already up and off to see her... it was 8:15am). Thyme had died. To say the least I was distraught, the vet had given her the all clear the night before....  she was my baby. I loved her to pieces. Poppy knows I think, she looks very depressed. No signs of any thrashing so she most likely wasn't in pain thankfully and she was still warm when they called so sadly it hadn't been long before.

It may seam sad or pathetic but I really miss her; its strange not hearing her high pitched whinny when I come on the yard to see them.
She inspired my unicorn act. This was because she was pure white and at times reminded me of a de-horned unicorn, some nights she would shine and you could see her across the fields. So to honour her memory I am saving up for a custom oil painting this is also coupled with me changing out one of my acts from a show this Saturday. I was supposed to perform my Succubus act but instead I decided to perform Unicornis, in memory of my beautiful little unicorn.  It was hard not to cry on stage.

At least she has Owen and Quest with her now. (They were two of my other horses. We found out on Friday that Quest had died last year... we had given him to a friend a few years before)

R.I.P Thyme - Poppy, Cai and I love you and miss you very much. there will never be another like you. You will always be in our hearts. <3

New member of the family

When it comes to humans I am a bit of a misanthrope, however I do adore other animals. Those who know me also know that I am living with my other half and I'm really happy, have been for over a year now. Between the two of us we have such a menagerie and now I can happily say we have a new member of our family.

It's a personal preference of mine to rescue animals, my black and white cat Idrial was a stray. Since our oldest cat passed away last Christmas and Cai and I have our own house now we decided to take on another.

This is when I heard about Destiny. She was at the RSPCA and due to be put down the day a friend of mine fostered her. Feeling so sorry for her, I picked her up and brought her home. At first she was a shy little thing and extremely temperamental, this turned out to be only because she was frightened. All truth be told she is a soft friendly thing and has settled very well. Getting along with Idrial and the rest of the critters.

She is a black cat with white marking like Idrial and our late cat Dusty.... Infact she is a spitting image of Dusty.

A very welcome member of the family.

Holiday Hold-up

There isn't really much I can say about this, I is all a bit tragic. Christmas day (I don't celebrate it but my family does) turned into a bit of a disaster zone really.

After picking up my mother and sister from Coventry for Christmas dinner which myself and Cai were cooking, We decided to do the courteous thing and drop them home afterwards. In all that was a fair gesture, having almost arrived in Coventry at about 7:15, good timing until everyone came to a standstill. Sadly we were seven cars down from a serious accident. Waiting patiently we witnessed two fire engines, four police cars, three large emergency ambulances, two smaller paramedic ambulances and two highway maintenance vehicles speed past on the hard shoulder. this scene wasn't cleared away until 9:20.

however apparently it was not a lucky day for us. As we drove past the scene of the crash a bit of debris chipped up and clipped the rear window. Upon arriving at the nearby services to fill up on fuel the window sadly smashed. This meant another long wait. My mother and sister went home via my sibling's boyfriend who picked them up, leaving myself and my partner waiting for the AA. They did not arrive until 12am due to another accident.  At long last we got home safe and sound.

Save for that we had a good Christmas actually. I am finally recovering from illness and looking a lot better.

Thankfully there were apparently no fatalities in that crash though there were others earlier that day and Christmas-eve with more morose endings, one involving horses as I found out :( . Tragic really. I really hope everyone drives safely for the rest of the holiday period.

Tidings new and old

Not much going on here, Uni is dull at the moment but one just carries on.
It's like a hazy sleep has taken hold of the world and everything is dumbed and veiled. Anyway... I'm not sure why I am writing this, I guess its to vent and for something to do.

Loads of things has happened on the sewing and creative front, new clothing, corsets, hair and other little bits and pieces. the house still isn't fully decorated but we are waiting for unavoidable things to happen before we continue that.

Burlesque has been going well, I am now running another night which hopefully will become a regular occurrence. things are good. And I got told off by a photographer for considering giving up modelling... something which I have been doing for 7 years now (Blimey that's a long time) so I guess I will be getting back into that to now.

On a completely different note, my little sister is engaged, I find this rather odd and disturbing. Here is why;

She broke up with her boyfriend of 7 months Saturday just gone - the reasons were many. Then, refusing to speak to him began ignoring his calls. We find out a few days ago that he had phoned her up early in the morning and proposed... oh how romantic :/ .... *insert sarcasm here*.

Don't get me wrong, as long as she's happy. What I do find odd is that they had broken up and then she said yes to his proposal, also he could of waited until he next saw her rather than over the phone. Anyway it's done now... maybe I'm just too much of a romantic at heart. .... At least she doesn't want me to make her wedding dress.

Back to the brighter side of things, my partner and I celebrated our anniversary at WGW (he had never been before) The bands were amazing as always and I got to see one of the bands I had listened to from a very early age. So chuffed with that. It was good to be back at WGW again. Looking forward...

 and above is a photo from WGW

WGW

Wow, okay its been a few years since I have been and now I am Taking my other half for out anniversary ^^... the official Date is October 31st but he has never been to WGW so I thought it would be nice to spend the time there for a week. I have tickets booked to see the bands and oh yes we intend to hit the club nights there as well as the pubs, a few older attractions etc. I think we are looking forward to a few days of wondering around the nice scenery to be honest with you.

Packing finishes today and I have an exam tomorrow before we go... eeekk a long day of travelling and on Samhain to :( but I'm sure the rest of the week will make up for it. I can't wait to see all my old friends, some of which I have not seen for a good few years. The good part is its all the music I grew up with and aren't played all that often anymore so double win here.

I will post up some pictures when we get home but I'm looking forward to a nice time away with my sexy man.

Hitting a down-slope

Those times you just want to scream and cry... but I can't cry.
Everything has hit me at once and I'm just feeling more and more low. I've been so very stressed recently, with University screwing timetables and re-enrolment around. Moving house, ill horses. It's all building up on me and its really starting to show.

I am not and have never been a pretty girl, but I wasn't the worse thing out there and I was happy enough in my skin. Recently I took on some work which I really regret doing, it only served to stress me out more and more... and it made me realise that I look awful right now. My skin is worse than it has been for a very long time, my hair is dull. I take care of myself, I have a strict cleansing/care routine but its no longer having the effect it used to.

I look old, its really upsetting me.

Stress-rashes keep breaking out, ultimately I feel very very low. Even my burlesque work isn't picking me up and I'm worried it will start to effect that to. Depression is a horrible thing and generally I do not get depressed easily.

I'm sick of it, no longer feeling like myself is horrible and I want to pick myself up. To top it all off Student Finance hasn't paid into my bank yet. Just more stress to add to the pile.

I know Cai is being very supportive, I love him to pieces but I can't help but worry that he will run off with a better looking bint... everyone else did.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what will help. Suggestions anyone?

New house!

Excited, bewildered.... I can't really think of any other words to describe how I fell right now and that's putting it lightly. I don't think those words quite catch the emotion correctly but words are escaping me right now.

This year has been the best year of my life so far, both physically and emotionally. I am genuinely happy. Hopefully I have many good years ahead of us.

Cai recently brought a house and asked me to move in with him, lucky me  ^0^

As I write we are in the middle of decorating and it looks lovely so far, can't wait until everything is sorted. There is a massive workshop at the back of the house which will get a lot of use. Both myself and the better half are rather crafty people. Lots of pretties on the way.

On that note The better half is actually going to join me in a bit of corsetry and make me a special corset ^^ can't wait to see how it comes out.

Let the crafting commence!!!